dusk dot dot dot daybreak ((and everything in between))
by Abe Lincoln Lover
Summary: counting the stars, of which there is only one


**AN: Stupid plunnie. I really wanted to do something that detailed a person's entire day, so I literally wrote every hour down and figured something out that would work. Most of it I came up with as I went, but the plot emerged after sleeping on it for a couple days. I've edited this multiple times after writing it, so yeah. Trust me on this - while some sections may seem boring, there's a reason why they're there. And no it's not to take up space. I mean like yeah some of it is (ie: this note) but that's not the only reason. Also... the last line was going to be "I stare straight at the moon and see Hakuba's face," but that part got cut... for obvious reasons.**

**Disclaimers: (1) Hmm I'm not even Japanese - how can I be Gosho Aoyama? (2) Rated T for (almost) excessive swearing. I mean the Nakamori family is in it. How were you not expecting curses? (3) Canon pairings! Oh my goodness! I'm such a crazay person for even coming up with the idea to do that! Oh wow!**

* * *

It's 12 am.

There's not many people awake right now. The highways are all empty and the overall feel is dreary. Even the stars decided not to show tonight. ((We used to count them together)) Perfect for how I'm feeling right now. Empty. I don't really know why I feel like that, though. Wait. There's something else, there. What is it...?

_Forboding_.

Something's going to happen. My mother called a little while ago because she was worried about me. I guess she felt the same thing as me. She reminded me to lock the doors and go to bed. She does that every night. That's normal. But it's just that... I don't know what it is. Something's just bothering me. It's this nagging feeling that won't go away. It's giving me a headache. Maybe if I just sleep it off, I guess... and wake up in the morning and everything'll be okay again.

Yeah. I'll do that. Goodnight.

* * *

It's 1 am.

Somehow I got insomnia. It's kind of ridiculous, the way things like this just happen at the worst times. Whatever. I'm not tired anyway. And my headache sort of went away. Maybe I'll read a book instead. Or work on planning for my next heist. There's always work to be done. But. Eh. I don't really feel like working on that right now.

Heh. It's funny how I'm bored when there's all this stuff that needs to get done.

I'm serious, though. I'll do it. Just... eventually. For now, I suppose I can just, you know. Do something. Like - like take a walk. That sounds like a good idea. And I know my mom told me to stay inside and be safe and everything, but she can be overprotective sometimes. Besides, I'm Kid. I go out past curfew (or whatever poor excuse for a curfew my family has) all the time. And it's not like I'm even being a good, quiet kid out there. I freaking rob banks and museums. And for some reason my mom's okay with that. Wow. Okay. That's odd. I never thought about it like that before.

...I'll think about it later. For now, I just gotta... I gotta take a walk. Yeah. It's - oh wow it's kind of chilly out here - gonna help me clear my head. I've had a lot of stress these past days. It'll help me clear my head. Yeah. Clear my head. And maybe I'll catch a cold. Whatever. I'll face the consequences of my actions later. I don't have the patience or the right state of mind right now to think rationally. Heh. I'm pretty funny when I'm tired. Hahahaha.

((God dammit Aoko I'm really sorry))

I don't have a problem. Whoops. Gotta go back inside and grab my coat. That was a mistake. Okay. I'm all good now. Got my coat. Time for a walk. I don't have a problem. This walk will help me clear my head.

I don't have a problem.

* * *

It's 2 am.

I've been walking for a whole hour. Huh. Wow. Didn't really look at the time this whole time. Hahaha puns. Aoko used to love them. She always loved me and my magic. I mean just my magic. Huh okay I'm tired. But I can't turn around now ughh I'm like fifty billion miles away from home. Whyyy did I do this. My mom needs to stop telling me to do things like this. Oh wait who was it that suggested this again? I'm too smart so I totalllly wouldn't have thought up this on my own. Whatever. I can't remember but I'm pretty sure it was my mom. I'll go yell at her later and maybe flip her skirt and have her chase me around math class zzzzzz

There's like one star in the sky and a freaking million leaves on this tree that I'm sitting next to. Um oops the moon doesn't count as a star right? Yeah uh there's no stars out. haha that's hilarious SHUT THE HELL UP AOKO. I'M TAKING MY MATH TEST RIGHT NOW CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I'M BUSY?

zzzz

* * *

It's 3 am.

It's 3 am.

I needed two glances at my watch (which somehow switched styles and wrists during my nap). That's when you know I'm falling apart. I can't believe it's already three in the morning. Uhh it feels like I have a hangover. Okay. Um. Yeahh... I have no idea where I am. The sun's not up yet. It'll be up in a couple hours. The darkness is okay then I guess. It means I still have time. I still have time to make things right. ((I can make things right, Aoko)) School'll be starting in a couple hours. You know. Right around the time the sun comes up. Maybe a little after. I can't really remember right now. I never found it important to know. But anyway. Sun coming up. That's a good marker.

So I guess I need to get back home now. I'm standing up now. The tree's good for support, I guess. Uhhh now what. I can't really ask anyone for directions. Everyone's asleep. Maybe I should just go back to bed right now. Er, go back to sleep. It's not really going to bed if you're not sleeping in a bed.

But that's a stupid idea because I really should be going back home. And I'm smart enough to figure this out on my own. God, I really wasn't thinking straight earlier when I started out my walk. I should've at least stayed to a path that I had walked before. But whatever. Shoulda coulda woulda. I don't have time for that. I'm still sleepy and I kind of want to get home soon and try to catch some sleep before I have to go to school. Ugh that tree is not a fun thing to sleep against. Note to self: sleeping against trees makes you sore when you wake up. Don't do it again. Ever.

Everything's dark but that's okay. I see a signpost and it says Moonview Street. That's helpful. But where the hell is Moonview Street? Jeez, I really wish I brought my phone with me. If I did I could just look up some directions and I could be home by now. Boy, am I dumb. I guess Aoko was on to something all those times when she called me Bakaito. ((See Aoko you were right and I was wrong just come back already)) Why do I always get myself into situations like this? One of these days I just won't be able to fix my mistakes...

Dammit.

* * *

It's 4 am.

I'm almost home. I know where I am now.

The trip was more like: thirty minutes of figuring out where the hell I was, fifteen minutes of leaning against a fence and trying to sleep (these Kid heists are really draining my energy... I keep dozing off all the time...), and another fifteen minutes wandering slowly back home. I never really was far from home. There's nothing deep about my statement, and I'm just extremely shallow. I'll admit it. I'll be the first one to admit it. I'm just an extremely shallow person all that way deep deep down. Who am I kidding? I'm shallow, through and through.

I'm not far away from Hakuba's house. I'm a complete bastard for what I'm thinking about doing.

* * *

It's 5 am.

My dinner table looks boring, sometimes. Some days it's covered with all these newspapers ((Because I'm a self centered freak and everything's always about me, and I just absolutely love to look at myself in the papers. Is that what you want me to say? Really?)) and other days it's not. There's a small stain near the edge of the tablecloth from that one time I tried to make myself coffee. That was near the beginning of my time as Kid and I wanted to have some because I heard that it helped people stay awake. The experience taught me two things: one, coffee is really hard to make, and two, coffee tastes terrible. Bitter things suck.

But today my dinner table just looks desolate. Deserted. But whatever.

I'm home, by the way. And yes, I did dye Hakuba's hair. Glow-in-the-dark yellow, to be precise. Subtle. He won't notice it until tonight, or if he winds up in a dark room. I never read the bottle so I'm not quite sure how long it'll last. Come to think of it, it didn't come in a bottle. I made the solution myself. Whatever. Hakuba's my guinea pig, I guess.

Heh. Guinea pig Hakubas. That's a fun thought to ponder.

Anyway I have an hour until I'm supposed to officially wake up. So I guess I can sleep until then. I'm not sure if I still have insomnia. I probably don't, considering I dozed off all those times during my walk. Wow. I just realized how long that walk was. I need to make these things shorter. Uhh. I'm a mess. I need to go sleep.

I should probably head upstairs and tuck myself into my bed and do all that crap but I'm tired. Head, meet table. Goodnightzzzzzzz

* * *

It's 6 am.

I'm kind of sad because I missed the sunrise. It happened some time when I was sleeping. Ughh I really don't feel like going to school. Maybe I can skip. Nah Aoko'll have my head if I -

Ha. She's pissed at me anyway. But I should go, anyway. If for nothing else but to snicker at Hakuba and let him know what an idiot he was for not knowing I pulled a prank on him. The best prank. The ultimate prank. ((Just trying to get my mind off you.)) Let him know there's something amiss, but don't tell him what. The opposite of subtlety, I suppose.

HUh. Opposites attract. I'm pretty sure I was thinking of the exact opposite earlier this morning. But I can't really remember. I guess it doesn't matter, then. I'm pretty sure my mom (or was it my dad?) said something like, "It only matters if you remember it. Having something be brought to mind gives it a certain significance, Kaito."

((I keep thinking of you. And you're pretty damn important to me))

I need to buy a grand piano or something. The question of how I'll pay for it will keep my mind off things like this.

* * *

It's 7 am.

It's pretty bright out, for seven o'clock in the morning. There are birds chirping, but no doves, definitely no doves, but there's a lot of robins and I suppose that's okay because robins are pretty cool. Bats are boring and lame. Allusions to Batman and Robin come to mind but I don't understand why they should when I wasn't even talking about them or anything that could even relate.

Somehow I'm turning my life into a metaphor. I think we learned a term for this in class. It's called like a conceit or something. What. No. Stop stop stop. I'm not deep and I don't do metaphors. The idea of a sidekick ((that would be you, except I don't think of you as my sidekick)) being better than the hero ((which I'm not)) doesn't apply to my life or anything about or concerning or even merely related to my life. I'm a sick bastard with too much time on my hands and I'm not deep. I don't have time for this.

I don't like to walk to school alone. I used to walk with you.

((You were right. I deserve this.))

* * *

It's 8 am.

I guess I'm no better than some creepy stalker dude because I was watching you all math class.

...eh, okay. That sounded a bit too much like a bad pick-up line or Valentine's Day card or something of that nature. And the last part of that statement was still extremely weird and creepy and freaking shouted "FUTURE CHILD MOLESTER" or something like that. Um. But you're not a child, so I guess I wouldn't be a _child_ molester. And I wasn't staring at you because I'm a pervert (I mean, I know I am but that wasn't the reason) or a rapist. I was staring because... I guess... I don't know. ((I miss you)) I need to stop lying to myself. And everyone. You tacked on that last part.

Anyway. I'm still sorry. But seeing your face again makes me have hope. I don't know why it does. But it gives me hope that maybe - just maybe - we can, I don't know, rekindle our friendship and dear God Aoko just forgive me already. I know I was a complete asshole and you have no reason to forgive me but come on you can't possibly stay mad at me forever! I'm your best friend.

Correction: I _was_ your best friend.

You've become so precise in your wording lately. I noticed that when you were talking to Keiko-chan about our "little" fight. I noticed you left out the big fat important detail of why you were mad. But I also noticed that you started talking about me like I was Kaitou Kid - with hatred. Which makes sense; in the larger, more obvious sense would be because I _am_ the Kid. But the simple detail that you _know_ is added in there. It's an extra variable that I need to add into the equation. But just be happy that I told you, instead of you finding out on your own.

You're happy about that, right? You're happy that I told you?

But it still hurts, excruciatingly so, to hear you talk about me like that. And it hurts even more to know that I deserve it.

* * *

It's 9 am.

I'm starting to lose my faith in you. It's breaking apart, piece by piece. But that's okay ((don't worry so much)) because I've got a roll of tape stashed somewhere in my backpack. I can't really remember where right now but whateverr. I'll find it if I need it.

But that's not the point. I'm starting to lose my faith in you. Every time we fight, you call me cruel names and I shout them right back. And then we hug and make up. Well maybe not hug but we always do forgive each other. And then after school sometimes we go out for ice cream and we alternate who pays. Usually it's whoever started the fight but sometimes it's you. And then we go home and help each other with our homework and hang out. You're my best friend. That's how it's supposed to be. But "supposed to be" is a funny thing. That's what you taught me. And I guess, in a way, I taught you that too. I'm sorry.

You're not forgiving me this time. It's been a couple days, Aoko. Don't leave me like this. Don't do this to me. I already said sorry. Just tell me how many times I need to apologize. I'll say sorry as many times as you want me to. But... but if you're not going to forgive me... if you won't even _accept_ my apologies... What am I supposed to do?

Aoko - Aoko, come on. How can I make it up to you? Why are you always looking teary-eyed these days? You never cried when I was your friend. Don't you want to stop crying? Aoko. Come on, Aoko. Forgive me. _Please_.

And I know it's not fair to you. I'm the Kaitou Kid. I'm the reason why you had to grow up all alone with only me (oh the irony) for a companion. Your father and my father were always facing off in the middle of the night. Your mom died of a bad case of pneumonia when you were only four. Who was the person who would sit with you and whisper sweet nothings to you after you woke up in a cold sweat from an especially scary nightmare? ((No one. But that was something that honestly wasn't my fault. But I'll let you still be mad at me for that))

We're in the middle of class right now, and we're in the middle of one of the biggest tests of the year. All the way from over here, I can see that you're not able to concentrate on it. Hey, you got some answers wrong. You never get answers wrong. You're a genius, through and through. I know I always call you stupid and Ahoko and fat and flat and all these horrible lies but I'm so so sorry about all of them. And I know exactly why you're not focusing well. I know exactly what you're thinking about.

Hey, what do you know. I haven't answered a single problem yet.

* * *

It's 10 am.

There's this rumor floating through the school - I'm not sure if you've heard it yet, but you probably have - that you and Hakuba are going out. And that's crazy because I'm your best friend and I know for a fact that you would never ever go out with that detective freak. His idea of an anniversary or really any special day gift would probably be your very own authentic working pocket watch, complete with the hour hand, minute hand, second hand, and - dare I say it? - millisecond hand. I have no idea where he would get it from but I guess that's why it would be so special to him.

But you wouldn't ever say yes to him. You don't like him. He doesn't like you. Sure, he's your friend. But he doesn't like you in _that_ way. I do. I think he likes Akako like every other freaking boy in our class does but I don't think he likes you. And I have no idea who you like but it's not him. It can't be. You... you said it yourself. You had someone else that you liked.

Unless it was me. And I'm out right now. You hate my guts. You want my head on a silver platter. And you know what? I think, just maybe, if you asked...

I think I'd give it to you.

* * *

It's 11 am.

Well screw that.

It's the change of periods and we're all supposed to be heading to the science room. I'm not feeling up to it. I don't really ever skip class, but. Yeah. This time I'll make an exception. I don't think I can stand another period of having Aoko give me the cold shoulder. I mean, I know I deserve it, but this is just getting ridiculous. I need to get out of here before I do something I'll regret.

And it's easy enough to get out. I break off from the crowd and just walk out the door. I almost hold the door open for someone out of habit, but there's no one behind me and I'm not even supposed to be leaving in the first place. Wow. This is really getting to me. Kaito. What happened to your poker face? It's not like me to lose my cool like this. That's why I need to regather my thoughts and figure out what the hell I'm gonna do next. I need to stop screwing around and screwing up and figure out what the hell is going to happen now. I have to go and figure out how Aoko can fit into the equation. Unless she can't. But I'm Kaitou Kid and anything's possible.

The truth about Kid is that he's a magician. Well, I'm a magician, too, but it's a different concept. I'm more of your amateur-ish type. I've learned a lot as Kid, but I don't ever dare let that knowledge show through in my everyday identity. Hakuba would notice. And dear God knows how much evidence he's already got on me. But back to the point: a magician cannot do the impossible. They simply bend the rules and make people _think_ that they're doing the impossible. But there's a lot of things that a magician _can't_ do, even in a trick.

For one, we can't bring back the dead.

Sometimes I get pissed at my dad. He sprung this whole crap on me before I was even out of high school. And he didn't even explain everything. Basically I feel like I'm just walking blindly through this whole thing. I feel like a puppet. It feels like Kudo, even in his pint-sized form, has more control over his situation than I have of mine. Which is still a stupid thought because I _know_ for a fact that he's not like that because he wants to be. So I guess that brings to the table a whole new can of worms.

Kudo and myself. We're pretty similar. We have the same face, same voice, and the same goal (in essence). He's a detective and I'm a magician. There's not many differences between the two of those occupations, despite the many times I argued the contrary with him. He solves the trick after it happens, and I solve it before. Not much difference.

He hasn't told Mouri-san yet. I've told Aoko already. That's our biggest difference.

* * *

It's 12 pm.

And right now I'm huddled under a bridge. Watching the _water under the bridge_. I still don't get that one saying. I don't think I ever will. Whatever. It might relate to my situation at hand. All the same, it might not. Preferably, I operate under the assumption that it doesn't. For some reason it makes things easier. I guess it makes me believe myself to be the good guy if I think of my situation as completely and purely distinct, without any ties to any crap sayings that might say otherwise. And I also like to think I understand what the hell I mean when I say things like that. I don't actually do. But it helps. Just that little bit, it helps.

But the water is pressing up to my shoes and lapping at their pleather material. It's not real leather because my mom and I felt like it wasn't really all that important to spend money on actual, legit shoes for school. Her, because she wants to save Dad's money for as long as she can without having to go back to work. Me, because sometimes I'm curious as to whether or not I will actually live to see the next sunrise. In my eyes, both excuses are the same thing.

The bridge above me is old and new. It depends on how you're looking at it that determines its age. It was built fairly recently, maybe fifteen years ago, but its got the scars and abuse that comes from one too many nights out in the bad part of town. Which is exactly where the bridge is located. I don't really know why I came here if there's such a bad rep around this place. All the same, that's probably the reason my subconscious chose this place. It really makes me want to hit myself when I do things like this. But even now, as I stare up at the curved arc carved with broken-up couples' names and drawn over with dead hobos' graffiti art, I like to question who I am and what my purpose is in the world.

That's it. I'm not suicidal or anything. Except for the part where I voluntarily jump off buildings and stuff. And rob banks. And purposely run into members of an organization that wants me dead. But I do all that stuff only when I have a plan. I can ensure my survival. I have a hang-glider for a reason, after all. Once - and only once - it didn't open. But I had a back up plan created for specifically that reason. I don't die. I can ensure my survival. I'm not stupid. I'm not running into things haphazardly like an idiot and getting my head blown off the second I screw up. I'm not suicidal. Just depressed.

Ha. Cheery Kuroba Kaito, depressed? A lot of people can't imagine it. But I can. It's really strange. And odd. It's not your typical type of depression. It's more like... I need a purpose to live on. One of those purposes is finding Pandora. I need to stay alive so that I can find that damn gem. I like to remind myself of that fact during numerous times of the day, like when I wake up, or when I'm jumping off a building and debating over whether or not I should pull the cord on my hang-glider or not. It'd be so easy to just not. So. Easy.

Another reason why I kept living was Aoko. ((Hear that, Aoko? You're the reason why I'm still alive. You mean so much to me. And I'm not lying this time)) She's a fun spirit. Just as good as a friend as she would be a girlfriend, I imagine. I used to think about asking her out. But I would get scared about what would happen if she said no. So I never did. So I guess that just reinforces the idea that I'm just some sick bastard named Kaitou Kid that doesn't even have the balls to ask a teenage girl what the hell she thinks of him.

Then again, I suppose I already did that, when I told her who I was. Two days ago. And I found out just exactly _what_ she thinks of me. And I found out that she thinks I'm an egotistical asshole who likes to pretend he knows everything and likes the feeling of having the entire world wrapped around his finger and caught up in his web of lies. Who doesn't want to acknowledge the difference between right and wrong, or the fact that I'm gonna go to hell for everything I've done. Because, obviously, I'm a thief, and quite frankly, thieves are terrible terrible people who have no right to keep on breathing, or at least have no right to be involved in society. Or with her. Mostly with her. So that's where I stand, currently. I've spent the majority of the past two days during school just staring at her and making funny faces at her ((I'm dancing on eggshells here, can't you at least respect that about me?)) and trying to maker her talk to me. But it's obvious that it's not working. It's been the cause for numerous sleepless nights, such as last night._  
_

But today's the first day I've skipped even a portion of a day of school. Something about that girl makes me crazy and do dumb things like this. Even when I was freaking going around and robbing banks, I never skipped school. Because only bad kids do that, my mother chided me often. Because good kids should stay in school, my father reminded me always. It's funny, in a strange way. It's funny, in a _really really really _super ironic way that kind of makes you cringe because it's just so damn _ironic_. Kind of like nails on a chalk board. Or not. But she makes me, a "good" kid, skip school. She's just a girl. And I'm a magician. I have a poker face. I'm supposed to use that. So even if I feel like shit and absolutely do not want to go to school, _I go_, because you've got to pull the wool over everyone's eyes and make them think that everything's okay and that you've got everything under control in your life. Because I've got the stupid image of Kuroba Kaito that everyone seems to hate but all expect. So I need to keep that up.

Aoko's the only person who can do this to me. She makes me stupid.

Aoko makes me BaKaito.

((Thanks))

* * *

It's 1 pm.

I'm not sitting under a bridge anymore, because some hobo guy came over and freaked out on me. Short story made even shorter, I ran away because he was crazy and I was _not_ going to deal with another crazy guy today. Which brings me to the fact that I'm back at home. The front door was locked but since when has that ever stopped me. Really. _Really_.

I thought a bit about going to bed and just never waking up, but I didn't feel like it. I can be lazy when I want to, okay? So instead I just decided to make some lunch for myself. Yes, hahaha, laugh all you want, but I get hungry, too. I'm a human and I get hungry, too. ((I'm a person and I have feelings)) I also felt like a teenage white girl and ate an entire quart of chocolate (always chocolate) icecream by myself because I could. I like to do things because I'm able to do them. It gives me a sense of empowerment. Really, I think that's why anyone does anything. It's because we _can_, so we _do_. I can be Kaitou Kid, so I do. Aoko can be mad at me, so she is. Same thing. Whatever. Ughhh I have a brain freeze now. Which brings me to my next point. Doing things because we can isn't always the best reason. Usually that prompts stupid actions and makes us regret a lot of crap that we normally wouldn't have done if we were being reasonable. I don't like regretting things. So I don't. ((Usually))

Hey. No. Stop. That's not the point. I need some TV - oh hold up the phone's ringing. Who's calling? I don't think it matters.

I'm going crazy and no the phone was not ringing. I think that I might have bumped my head or something when I was under that bridge. I'm not thinking straight anymore. Well, I'm not thinking _as_ straight. I was always something of a lunatic, but never this much. I'm going crazy, and I think that's God-awful. Ughh. I should sleep, or at least do something. Maybe I can go over to Aoko's house and hide out there until she gets home. I'll, like, sit in her swivelly chair and face away from her when she walks into her room, and be all like, "I've been expecting you," and she'll scream to high Hell for me to get out. Which would be all good for me because that would at least be something that she'd say to me. It'd be the first thing she'd say to me. After two days. Two utterly boring days.

Yep.

I'm going crazy. Now, who was the psychiatrist that Hakuba had oh-so-helpfully suggested...?

* * *

It's 2 pm.

As it is, I just plain didn't feel like calling up Dr. Hamasaki and spilling my secret to some random doctor that I've never even met before. Don't get me wrong, I'm not an overly sentimental person - I just feel that there are some things that should be kept and cherished. You know, like the fact that I'm an internationally-wanted criminal who nobody knows the identity of and is still at large. Yep. That feels pretty confidential. And I feel like it's something - and, woah, I don't know why, I just do - that should be kept a secret so that I don't, hmm let's see, _go to jail?_

I'm not an idiot, as much as Aoko and Hakuba and all my other classmates claim I am. Or maybe I am and I'm just in denial. But that's just absurd because I like to fancy myself a genius. And my mommy says I'm smart. Sometimes. Other times she tells me what an idiot I am for a) knocking over a vase, b) forgetting to feed the doves, or c) screwing up dinner. But these things rarely happen when she's around, so it's not like she ever knows about them or even yells at me for them. And she's not a very angry person and she's very calm and cool and collected. She has a poker face, just like me and dad. She doesn't like to loose that cool. That means not calling me an idiot, despite what all the fibers in her body are screaming.

She's a good woman.

But now I'm faced, anyway, with a dilemma. It reminds me of the problem I had over twelve hours ago (I think that was the amount of time). Um but this time I think it would be best if I didn't go take another walk. I don't want to get lost again. Also, if I go outside right now I could get a few strange looks from passerbyers because I'm supposed to be in school right now. I don't even look any older than a school-age kid. There's no way that nobody would notice. Besides that, I don't really feel like going outside at all. It's a little bit too... _outdoorsy_ for my taste, currently.

Still I am presented with the problem of boredom. Which usually isn't that big of a deal because I'm extremely good at entertaining others (and, indirectly, myself). I like to watch people's reactions when I pull off a trick. It's hilarious, how people get so worked up about a single, simple trick. A simple "pull-the-rabbit-out-of-the-hat" trick gets hours of applause. I don't get it. And then there's the super-easy vanishing tricks. It's like, the jewel's there one moment, and then it's gone the next. It leaves the cops baffled. I don't know why. There's always Nakamori-keibu screaming his head off with very, _very_ colorful curses about how he doesn't understand how the gem could just _disappear_ and that he has no idea where it went. Um, think a little next time, keibu. Who has it? _I_ have it.

I'm a little hard on everyone around me who _can't_ keep up with me. Hakuba's fine, a bit draggy but whatever. He catches onto the trick quick enough. But Nakamori-keibu's a bit slow. Faster than the rest of the taskforce, but slow nevertheless. He can't solve a single heist notice on his own, and when he's guarding the target he never really understands that _I'm already there_. Usually. Yeah. I'm usually already in the room. The suggestion I have for him? Record all your troops _before_ you assemble. That is, mark down everyone you have and then make notes about where they've been. Constantly check to make sure I haven't suddenly popped in and took some guy's place. It's a bit simple, really, to just wait until keibu's gone and done the "pinch test" on everyone before I hop into my unsuspecting victim's place. He only checks once. Silly keibu.

There's also the fact that he never realizes that he's always chasing after a dummy on a hang-glider. But I wouldn't dare try to remedy that, because a magician needs at least _some_ misdirection in order for his tricks to work. It's all about the magic. All of it.

Again, though, I'm too hard on him. He's faster and a much quicker thinker than anyone else on the squad (besides Hakuba). He's the closest one (besides Hakuba) to figuring out my identity. I'm pretty sure he's got at least _some _inkling that I'm not the real Kaitou Kid. And it makes sense, too, because he's the oldest one on the task force and he knows Kid better than anyone else. Suprisingly, he knows Kid better than I do. I mean, he went to school with him and everything. Makes you think.

I should work on my next heist. I haven't sent a notice out in over two weeks. The cops are no doubt getting antsy.

But I don't feel like it. I'm having déjà vu. I don't know why. I don't really _care_ why. Ugh. I need to get my mind off all this stuff. I need to do something that I haven't ever done before. But I don't feel like going all "deux ex machina." So I guess that scratches visiting tantei-kun's house off the list. Hmmmm.

Screw it all, I know where to go.

* * *

It's 3 pm.

I'm sitting in a kinda sorta plush swivel chair. It's brownish grey and super dull, just like the person who lives here. There aren't any posters on the walls, which I guess is a blessing in disguise because I don't really want to know what this guy's interests are. I mean, that'd be pretty cool and all and it would help me out (in some weird, distorted, _convoluted_ way) on one heist eventually, I guess. But there's always such thing as _too much information, _especially when concerning Hakuba Saguru. Because this guy gives me the creeps and I just don't feel like getting all cozy with him and getting to know him any better than I already do. I'm good with where I am right now, thank you very much.

That said, I don't really know why I'm in his house - much less his bedroom - right now. I suppose it has a large part to do with my irrationality when I get bored, and also the fact that I just want to _talk to someone_ and Hakuba's one of the closest friends I've got besides Aoko (who's obviously out of the question) and Akako (who's also a pretty big creep and I'd rather drive nails into my eyeballs than talk to her voluntarily). My point is: I need new friends. Whatever. Okay. I just heard the keys rattling in the lock. That means he's home. Yes.

It's go time.

I'm not facing the door. My head's poking over the back of the chair, and my completely cliche look is perfect. I hope Hakuba appreciates the little bit of effort I've put into this pose. He deserves some amusement in these dark hours. God knows how rough life has been on him lately. I mean, his best friend in the entire world isn't even talking to him anymore. That's gotta suck. Loads.

Crap. Hakuba's not me. He doesn't deserve this. I'm sick of this game. I spin around.

"Kuroba."

His voice is dry, like he's just swallowed sand paper. Or a lemon. Heh. It kind of sounds like he's got his foot in his mouth because he's too shocked - or is it too angry? - to think of the right things to say. He's very particular. Likes to know exactly what he's going to say _before _he says it. Which is completely stupid because we're all human here and I think it's nice to have some surprise in life. But whatever. It's his life choices, not mine. But he's never been stunned speechless before. Heh. I guess I'm just that good. I'm the smooooothest man on the block.

Sorry. I needed that. I crack a smile onto my face. All teeth, no broken glass. He's a detective. He can see through that. God, he's a freaking bloodhound - he can _smell _through it! I pronounce my reply with a pinch of horseradish. "How was school? What'd I miss?"

"Oh, you know," he produces, eyes still wide but obviously trying to play it cool and play along. I don't know why he does that. Come to think of it, I don't know why he does anything. A lot of the crap he does just boggles my mind sometimes. To the outsider, he seems like a calm and relatively reasonable guy, but once you get to know him - yeah, I'm pretty sure he's insane. Maybe even crazier than me. Oh. Wow. Didn't really know that was possible. He continues, nonetheless. "You missed a lab. Sensei was mad about that. And you missed two tests, but I'm sure it's nothing that you can't make up. I assume I'm correct in guessing that you've skipped class before?"

Ugh how can he do that. His eyes narrow, slightly, and peer towards me. I feel like a worm in front of a falcon. Hawk. It doesn't matter. I shake my head and shrug. "Nope. First time. I'm not all bad, you know." He doesn't look like he's buying it. Which, of course, isn't my concern. I don't need to prove myself to him. I don't need to answer to him. I'm my own boss and I could really care less about some nosy classmate of mine who likes to poke his head into all the right places. Really, what I need to be doing is misdirecting him. But that seems unfair. I go on. "Did the class enjoy their break? And do they understand the hell they're gonna be in for when I go back tomorrow?"

"I would believe so. But, if you may excuse my asking, _what_ are you exactly doing in my room? Or, for that matter, in my house, at all? This is a whole new level of... _odd_, even for you, Kuroba."

I puff my cheeks and roll my eyes. Figures he'd want to talk about the elephant in the room as soon as possible. I guess he dislikes my presence as much as I hate his. Stupid brits. "If you reaaally want to know, I just wanted to hang out with you!" I stand up and stretch, smile still painfully etched onto my face. I honestly have no idea where I'm going with this. "You and me, two ol' buddies just hanging out together. It'll be like the good times, all over again!"

"You're an idiot."

I lean up real close to him. I let my eyes slide open wide so that he can see everything. ((The eyes are the window to your soul. I should've opened them for you, Aoko)) "_I'm_ an idiot? That's _priceless_, Hakuba. Can I have that one on tape? Or in print? Do I have to pay extra for copyright? Hey, whaddya know, I've got a coupon for -"

"_Shut up!_ Listen, Kuroba - I don't get what's up with you and Nakamori-san, but if what I'm _thinking_ is correct, then you deserve how she's treating you. And don't try to say there's nothing wrong between you two, because it doesn't take a detective to see it. The whole class is talking about it... I do think you should know that."

Woah, the _whole_ class knows about it? Apparently I'm not as good at keeping secrets to myself as I think I am. Sure, I could always blame the leak on Aoko, but I don't feel like lying anymore than I already have to. I already know it's my own fault. It always is. And this time, I'm not too scared to admit it. I back down from Hakuba and turn around, because I really don't feel like looking at his face anymore. For a variety of reason. I cast a glance at his window, which has blinds - blinds? I always imagined him as a curtain person - pulled down like they're hiding the room from the outside. Or perhaps vice versa. You can never tell with these detective-types. "I guess our class has too much time on their hands, if they care so much about some dumb drama going on between me and Aoko." Chuckle for "emphasis". Helps with the poker face, dad always said. "But you're a busy person, right? So you don't have time to bother with this stuff. What have _you_ been up to? That's what _I_ want to know."

He sighs and leans against the wall. I notice that he's made sure to pick a spot where he wouldn't be in the way of me leaving, be it through the door or through the window. Oh, Hakuba, you think you're so clever and subtle. I appreciate the efforts, though. Makes my life just that tad bit easier. He glares at me, but without much intensity. "I'm a detective. I have my cases. And don't ask me to tell you anything about them, because I know that _you_ know that I'm not allowed to speak about them with civilians. Also, I'm fairly certain you do not care about them. At all. So, if you will, stop beating around the bush and get to what you want to ask me, already."

"Fine, fine, you got me," I smirk and turn around. He looks awfully serious. I wonder why. "I just have a series of hypothetical questions for you. Nothing too hard or revealing for you to answer. That all good with you?"

I know that look he's got. It's _calculating_. He's trying to see what it is I could possibly have to ask him, and what his losses - or even gains - could be from this. He's also trying to guess at _how_ hypothetical I'm going to make this. But he's a quick thinker, and he has an answer after only a short amount of time. "Ask away."

Right. "What would you do if I were to tell you that I know who the Kaitou Kid is?"

"Oh." He smiles humorously. "That's what this is about? Okay. What would I do? Well, I suppose I would have to follow police protocol -"

"That's enough. Next question. Again, _hypothetical._ Let's say that I'm the Kaitou Kid. Would you do the same thing?"

"Of course."

"'_Of course,_' he says. Why would I expect anything else," I mumble with irritation. This isn't really how I wanted the conversation to go, but in all honesty - as long as I can get Hakuba to a point that's good for me, then it's fine. I watch him and try to make sense of what his thoughts are. If you know what someone's thinking, then they just become that much easier to manipulate. It's part of the reason why Kid is so radical and insane. Dad and I had to make him as unpredictable as possible. Hakuba, on the other hand, is easy to read. I don't let the triumph show in my face, or my voice. "Under what circumstance would you ever agree to helping Kid? And don't pretend that there's no such situation. There is."

He contemplates this veiled proposition - because that's what it is, duh, and he's a detective so he can see it right away - for a moment. "I would have to say that someone would have to be in danger, or a more dangerous criminal would have to be in the opposition. Once the matter is laid to rest, though, I can make no promises about aiding him any further. That goes along with his identity, as well. But why all these questions? You're not... up to something, are you, Kuroba? Because I can assure you that we have more than enough homework to be filling our time than be teaming up to battle whatever fiends Kaitou Kid has."

"What? _I'm _not up to anything, Hakuba! And remember, these questions are all just hypothetical! I'm not Kaitou Kid," I grin venomously, "and I'm _certainly_ not up to anything!"

"Kuroba, am I right in guessing that this is the exact same way that you told Nakamori-san about your 'secret identity,' if you will?"

I frown at him, because he's being annoying and guessing all the right answers. "I'm not the Kaitou Kid. It's ridiculous for you to even think that."

"It doesn't matter. Well, it does but -" he shakes his head. It's obvious that he's actually trying to get down to business and that this time he has something to tell _me_. It feels weird. Usually I'm the one telling him crap. "Listen. I'm not Nakamori-san. I know you told her. And I know _what_ you told her. You're lucky that she didn't tell her father. If I were her, I would have. So look and see how bloody lucky you are, Kuroba, and stop taking the piss and just make things right with her already!"

"It's..." It's not that easy, Hakuba. That's what I wanted to say. But I can't say that, not without admitting that I'm Kid. "That's some good advice. I'll have to remember that, on the off chance that I _do_ become Kaitou Kid and tell Aoko. But until then - you know the drill. _I'm__ not Kid._"

"And stop telling so many lies. Women hate lies."

"Oh yes, and I should be taking dating advice from you?" What a joke, that guy. "When was the last time you got laid, anyway?"

A blush. "Now, hold on! That has nothing to do with -"

"I accept your apology." Hakuba can sure pack a punch in one glare. "Now, I've got to get going. See you around, Hakuba?"

I toss a smoke bomb down before he can reply. I'm outside the window already by the time he speaks, coughing wildly. "Bloody... hell, Kuroba... I had a... few... questions... of my own..."

My voice is a whisper echoing around his room. Big Papa taught me well. "Shoulda thought of that before we made a deal, smart-ass."

And then I'm gone.

* * *

It's 4 pm.

I've spent the better part of this past hour thinking about what Hakuba told me. Sure, he's a straight up prick with the entire country of Britain stuck up his ass, but I guess I value his opinion in some strange way. On some planet. Of some strange solar system.

He's a good guy. He's got his heart in the right place. He understands the law and why it's there. What he doesn't get is that he's just too naive. He sees the world as black and white, bad and good, Kuroba and Hakuba. Illegal and legal. He doesn't seem to understand that there's a grey area, and that sometimes the good things people do are illegal. Sometimes bad things are legal. It's all part of this screwed up world we're living in. Kid's a good guy. I'm trying to make Hakuba understand that. I guess that's the whole reason why dad originally designed Kid to be dressed in white - to make it obvious to the thick-headed, ignorant buffoons out there that Kid's just trying to, you know, _save the world_ and do all this other heroic crap for the betterment of human society. He's not a bad guy.

Hakuba's just... wow. Maybe he gets that. He admitted that there are worse people out there than me. Err, Kid. Whatever. It makes me hopeful. Maybe he can understand. Eventually. And maybe then he'll stop wearing that irritating smirk all over his face, and just hang up the dumb deerstalker hat and inverness coat.

Not that I'm suggesting that he give up being a detective. I just want him to tone it back a bit. His whole Sherlock Holmes impression thing isn't really my thing. He's also mad creepy/weird when wearing that thing. Also he just looks plain stupid and a lot of kids at school like to whisper behind his back about how dumb he is for actually going out in public wearing that. Because wearing a ridiculous outfit is only okay if you don't let the public know what your actual identity is. Yup. That's how I get away with it, anyway.

I don't actually know _why_ I decided to go to Hakuba's house. It was more like a spur-of-the-moment type thing. He seemed almost as surprised as I did! Wow that was exciting. No. It wasn't. It was completely lame and I shouldn't have gone. I mean, I'm pretty sure I stepped into stalker-zone in his mind when he saw me in his room. I'm not sure about you, but if I saw Hakuba - or for that matter, if I saw _anyone - _in my room right after school... I don't know what I'd think. I'd probably call the cops, and then the insane asylum. Or something. Or maybe I'd just reason it out with them and figure out how the hell they got past all the booby traps I have set up around the perimeter of my house. They've got to be a ninja, to get past those.

Haha I wish a real ninja showed up in my house one day. That'd actually be pretty exciting.

I've spent the better part of an hour on this stupid, dingy bus. I'm bored. I'm getting off.

* * *

It's 5 pm.

Somehow, be it through the intervention of the gods or just my own course of fate, I have managed to wind up right in front of the Ekoda police department. It's the same one that Aoko's dad works at. I don't know why I would come here, knowing that. I'm a perfectly sane person ((no I'm not)) and I have absolutely no intention of turning myself in. I stare up at the windows and watch birds fly around and poke their beaks at the glass. Weird.

A couple groups of people exit the building during punctuated intervals. Again, weird. My watch tells me the answer, though. It's 5 pm. Dinner time. Groups of friends and coworkers are heading out for a quick bite to eat before they have to get back to work. Luckily, I won't be running into Nakamori-keibu. Aoko always packs his dinner so that he doesn't have to waste time when he could be at the office, researching Kaitou Kid and getting all those steps closer to catching him. Me. Same thing.

"Kaito-kun!" Speak of the devil, and he shall appear. It's those gods and their damn divine intervention at it again. It has to be. Whyyy. They could have just left me alone. But what's done is done, and I've already been seen. I turn around and wave back to the Inspector. "Oh, hey! What's up, Oji-san? You heading out for dinner now? And wait... doesn't Aoko usually make you your dinner?" I just had to slip that question in there. Come on - I was genuinely curious!

"Yeah, but I guess it sort of slipped her mind this morning. Anyway. Do you want to tag along?"

So it would appear Aoko had actually chosen to not tell her dad. She's stupid. I'm a criminal. I'm bad. B-A-D. I belong a jail, or dead, or worse. I don't deserve to go free without consequence. And I don't deserve her. Currently, that last one is the only punishment I have. I start to walk in step with the Inspector. We walk quietly for a few blank moments before he speaks again. It's apparent that he's the only one here that knows how to make a conversation. "So how's school going?"

That gruff voice will never fail to surprise me, what with its ability to almost conceal all the feeling behind it. Nakamori-keibu is actually an extremely compassionate and caring guy. People just never really see past his vulgar language and loud voice. Also his smoking habit gives him a different image than of what he's actually like. But the way he's able to fit such a _fatherly _tone into such a simple sentence, spoken with such a harsh voice... I need to take lessons from this guy. It'd help me out on my heists, I imagine. "It's going good." Don't mention the fight don't mention the fight don't mention the fight. "How's work?"

Pushing the right buttons, or the wrong ones? I have no idea which one I'm doing. It sets him off, though. "That damn Kaitou Kid dropped off another notice yesterday. My squad's got all the information figured out, but we're running into a bit of trouble communicating with the museum's curator. Apparently he doesn't want to put his 'precious jeweled crown' in the hands of an incompetent group of police officers. The nerve of that guy." He shakes his head and fist, almost in unison. I have to choke back a laugh that I'm pretty sure isn't appropriate for the situation. He blabs on. "And that Kaitou Kid too. I could kill the guy. He acts all high and mighty, and pretends like he's some sort of god. And he's always laughing. _When there's nothing to laugh at_." An innocent coffee cup is squashed in his hand. I wince for it. "He likes to pretend that he's not actually a criminal. And the sad thing is - he pretty much isn't! He returns every goddamn jewel he steals, and he doesn't hurt anyone! He's - he's up to something. I know it. _Nobody_ goes through all that effort just for a stupid gem. Especially when he's able to steal them so easily. And then he just gives them back." Another shake of the head. "That's the part I don't get."

"Maybe he feels bad? Maybe -"

"_I don't care! _It's not my job to find out. I was hired to catch International Criminal 1412, and that's what I'll keep trying to do until the day I die! It's... it's not anything like Hakuba tells you, kid. He's always going around asking people, '_How come you did it?_'. Let me tell you about the real world. The motive doesn't matter. It helps in pinning down a suspect, sure, but it never acts as real, cold, solid proof. You can't use a motive as proof against a murder suspect. It doesn't work that way. So at some point, the motive just becomes pointless to care about. And really... the less you know about a culprit... the less you have to sympathize with them, the easier it is to arrest them. How would you feel if you had to arrest someone who you had found out actually had a real good reason for committing the crime? You can't let them off the hook. But you would want to. It would be better to just not know."

"What would you do if you found out what Kid's motive was? Like if you found out the reason why he steals and then gives back? Or if you found out he was someone close to you?" The unspoken '_What if it's me?_' hangs heavily in the air between us.

Nakamori-keibu contemplates this thought. "If I found out his motive... I'd probably not want to catch him anymore, if it's a good reason. If it isn't, then I'd probably chase him more than I already am. And if he was close to me. Like... like who? You? Ha! You're just a kid - sorry, but you know what I mean - and the Kid's been around for over twenty years! But if it was you... or even your dad. As an example, of course. I'm not suspecting you two at all, you get that, right? Yeah. But if it was one of you... I don't know what I'd do. I'd probably press you guys for answers or something. See if it's worth it, in my eyes. You know, that type of stuff."

"Would you tell?"

"I... honestly, I don't think so." The Inspector's voice becomes gravely quiet. "It's like how I said before, how you don't want to get too close to the suspect. I don't think I could do it, sending one of you two off to jail. Your family's like my own, Kaito-kun. You're just like a son to me. If I wouldn't send Aoko to jail, I wouldn't send you, either."

"That's very... _comforting_ to know, Inspector," I mumble the words softly. He doesn't hear them.

We dine in silence.

* * *

It's 6 pm.

I said goodbye to Nakamori-keibu a while ago. I think it was like twenty minutes ago or something. It doesn't matter.

I've been saying that a lot today, I feel. "It doesn't matter." But it really does, doesn't it? This whole day has been me moping around about Aoko ignoring me. I'm such an idiot. If I _care_ about that, then of course it matters!

But then again, I'm stupid for not realizing that she was going to be _this_ mad about it.

I need to make things right. I'm the goddamn Kaitou Kid, and I make things possible. If I can't do something as simple as make a normal teenage girl _forgive me_ for something _really_ stupid that I did - and am continuing to do - then you know what maybe I'm not cut out to be Kid. But I am. So I can do this. I was born into this and I was raised and freaking _cultivated_ to be Kid. I am a very persuasive person and I can make people do whatever the hell I want them to. It doesn't matter if they want to or not. They do as I ask. _They bow to me_.

I'm going a bit crazy. But it's all okay, right? I'm going crazy for Aoko. She's cool. Yeah. If I have to go crazy for someone, I'm just glad it's her. Because she's chill.

Except for the part where she hates my guts and I have pretty much no way around that. But I'll figure it out. I always do. I have Lady Luck on my side, and she's "never" failed me before. I'm pretty sure Lady Luck fancies me or something. Well. I've always been quite a looker, anyway. It's one of the occupational, erm, hazards that I face, being a Kaitou Kid and all. Heh. "A." As if there's more than me.

((Would you be pissed?))

* * *

It's 7 pm.

There's nothing good on TV, and trust me, I've checked. For like the past hour. I don't really know what to do now. Maybe I'll go to bed early, or haha what about this ridiculous thought - _do my homework_? Pshh even thinking about that seems lame and dumb. I'm the freaking Kaitou Kid and I don't need no stinking homework. Besides, I already know all of it. Besides, it's not like it'll ever really help me out later in life. Because in all honesty, I can only see myself in three places in the future; working as a magician, rotting in jail, or dead. They're not really things that I'm ever going to need to know calculus for. Not that I don't know it, but still. They're not things that I need to do _worksheets_ on calculus for.

Aoko likes to tell me to stop being so self absorbed. Come to think of it, Hakuba says it too. And Akako. And the entire rest of my class. And the entire Kaitou Kid task force, but they don't say it to Kuroba Kaito. They say it to the other me, which still is me, but whatever it doesn't matter. God I need to stop saying that.

But maybe I should take Aoko's advice, because she sure seems like she's got her shit together. Which is more than anyone can say about me. Ughh what am I doing it is a Thursday night I shouldn't be thinking about all this I should be doing what any other normal teenager would be doing. Oh crap I completely forgot that I have a heist tonight I better get ready for that

Wait crap no I don't. Jeez Aoko stop screwing with my brain.

For some reason the TV turned off. I never told it to. Why did it do that then. It should obey me. I flip it back on and waste a couple more minutes of my life that I know I'll never get back.

* * *

It's 8 pm.

The phone's ringing too. I turn off the television so that I can answer it.

It's my mom. She's calling earlier than usual.

"Moshi, moshi -"

"Hi Kai-chan~! How was school? Did things get better with you and Aoko-san?"

For a former phantom thief, she's pretty blunt. I'd have thought her to be more into petty theatrics and disguising and all that crap just like dad and I are. Well, I am. Dad was. It's all about the wording. Again. Whatever. But I've known my mom my whole life so I never really expect anything more from her. It's just the way that she is. She was born that way. Born blunt. The same way that Aoko was born bold and commanding. And also born Kid-hating. Which carries over to me now. Ughh stupid random trains of thoughts why does my mom always do this to me. I'd better yell at her for that. But not today, because today's... a special day. I can't remember what for. It's not mom and dad's anniversary because that was three months ago. What day is it. Umm not dad's death day because that's in the fall and it's spring right now. I don't know. I should ask. But not right now. Because it's a special day. And so on and so forth.

"Uh... well she's still mad. Nothing I can do about that. It doesn't look like she's going to tell her dad, though. I dunno why she isn't if she's so mad at me."

I hear my mom sigh on the other end. "You'll never understand it. It's a girl thing. Trust me, I'm one."

"No, I thought you were a man. Really, Kaa-san?"

"Well! Last time I do anything nice for you..." she mutters inaudibly but I know she's not really mad. I think.

"Sh-" But I can't say shut up because she's my mom. And she'd totally flip out if I did that. So how to cover...? Maybe I can just shift the topic back to the original point of it. "She's been ignoring me for the past couple days. I've tried everything to get her to come around and forgive me. What do I do?"

"Kai-chan, you can't force her to forgive you. She needs some time to sort this all out and figure out what this all means now. Believe it or not, it's a pretty life-changing thing that you've just forced her into. Not everybody is as adaptable as the Kurobas are." I can hear a faint trace of strain in her words, and I know that she's not counting herself as a Kuroba. It really makes me think about her relationship with dad, before they got married. And about who she was before she met him. Makes me think about everything she left behind. Makes me think about everything Aoko'll have to leave behind if we ever get together, God forbid she ever forgives me.

"Y-you're right. But maybe she just needs a little push. I mean, she's had a couple days to think it all through. And she hasn't told her dad so I'm fairly certain she'll end up siding with me anyway. I gotta go now, Kaa-san, so bye." I hear her last words before I hang up. I try to pretend that I don't, though.

"Don't be so sure of yourself, Kaito..."

* * *

It's 9 pm.

I'm all suited up in my Kid outfit. I've been putting it on and taking it off for the past half hour. I've got a plan formulating in my mind, but the details aren't really worked out and I'm not sure how's the best way that I should be dressed for this. Kid on, or Kid off? It's like a light-switch. It's real easy to flip back and forth, but if I keep doing it for a long time and keep doing it quick then I'll start a fire.

I decide to just be me, Kuroba Kaito, because I'm tired of lies and I'm tired of theft and crime and dad. He screwed me over big time by leaving all this crap for me to deal with. I used to look up to him.

But then he went and did this. _I looked up to him_. I trusted him. I thought he knew best. I - I thought I knew him better than that.

He screwed me over. He screwed me over a million times. But I can't hate him. I can be tired of him, but I'll never hate him.

Because there's still that part of me that remembers the old him, and the good times.

((I've learned a lot today. I'll teach you these lessons))

Sour-faced, I step out of the room. I leave the house and I sit on the porch. The wind is cold, but it's comforting to know that it's there. I stare up at the stars and start counting.

* * *

It's 10 pm.

I had originally planned to show up with a bouquet of flowers or something, but in the end I decided against the idea. It would give her all the wrong impressions. I knock knock on the wooden door. It feels weird doing that since usually I would just walk right in. The door opens really quickly and I have the feeling that she's been waiting for me. But that's just ridiculous.

"Aoko -"

She slams the door in my face. Well. Someone's moody. I hear the light _tap tap_ of her sock-donned feet and I know she's heading to her room. So maybe she did just wait there all night just so that she could do that to me. I wouldn't put it past her, honestly.

But she's not expecting me in her room when she gets there. I'm a phantom thief, I'm quick, I'm agile. Getting there before her was like stealing candy from a baby. All the same she's not expecting that of me. I'm sure that she was aware that I had the capabilities but yeah she didn't see it coming. Maybe she thought I wouldn't. Just plain wouldn't. But she really needs to stop giving me the benefit of the doubt in things like this. I stare at her and I'm pretty sure my eyes are glowing. Maybe they're the only thing she can see of me. It's dark in this room and my eyes are glowing.

She flips on the light and for a second it hurts. I blink against my will. She's the first one to talk. "What the hell."

I go next. "Just hear me out -"

"Stop! Okay, can you just stop?" She's hysterical in a second. My mom was right about her being a girl. Massive period mood swings and all that jazz. "I hate you and I hate you and can you just leave me alone? I'm not going to tell my dad if that's what you wanted to know, but now can you just _go away_?! This is _my_ house and I really just - can you just go? I know we used to be friends but you're a god damn _criminal_, okay, Kaito? I don't want any part in whatever the hell you're doing so just leave! Please!"

"It's not that -"

"Then what is it?! I'm not going to be your accomplice because _unlike you_ I'd rather stay out of jail!"

"_Just listen to me already!_"

And then everything happens in a blur. I'm behind her, slamming the door closed, and I know her dad won't care or hear because he's working the late shift. I shove her into a chair in front of her desk and grasp my hands tightly onto her shoulders. She's effectively planted in a seat and won't be going anywhere until I let go. Which I'm not really sure if I can. The rational side of my brain seems to have long jumped out the window. I stare wildly at her, and she stares wildly back. Her eyebrows are furrowed and I know she's furious.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? LET ME GO RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR I'LL TELL MY DAD EVERY LAST FUCKING BIT OF INFORMATION AND I'LL EVEN SHOW HIM THAT STUPID ROOM YOU HAVE IN YOUR HOUSE! YOU'LL GO TO JAIL, KUROBA KAITO, AND I WON'T EVEN GIVE A FUCK! DO YOU HEAR ME? _DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME?_"

Wow she can yell. I sacrifice one of my hands from her shoulders in favor of slapping it over her mouth. She tries biting it - she's very angry, obviously - but I make myself keep it there. She needs to calm down if we're ever going to sort this out. "God dammit, Aoko, just shut up. Will you even let me explain myself? You ran away when I tried to on Tuesday."

She hates it when I speak so calmly to her but she's just so damn pissed at this point that she can't find the words to spit at me. I take that as my sign to continue. "Aoko, listen. I know you're mad that I didn't tell you sooner. It was just... really hard for me, you know? This wasn't really my decision. I mean, it _was_, but I didn't start up Kaitou Kid. I didn't make him. My dad did. And - and he just got passed down to me. I'm being honest here, Aoko. You know I am. And you also know I'd never do anything to hurt you intentionally. So... so just calm down and listen, okay?"

She stares at me venomously, but nods despite herself. I go on.

I tell her _everything._

* * *

It's 11 pm.

There's a long silence as she contemplates this new information I've given her. She knows about Snake, and Pandora, and every other little tiny detail that I never told her before. I didn't bother to sugarcoat anything, or make it seem like I was a hero, and I know it's rough for her to try to take it all in. That's why I lean back and give her some time. Like mom suggested, for real this time.

Finally she speaks, and her voice is a lot softer than before. That is to say, it's a bit quieter than normal speaking volume. "That's all... the truth? You're not lying this time?"

I'm almost hurt by this accusation. "Why would I lie to you?"

"You've done it before," and she drives the stake right through my heart. "Why would now be any different? For all I know, you could've just made that all up. It sounds ridiculous, anyway. Maybe you're just lying to me so that I'll forgive you and everything'll go your way. Because that's how you like it, isn't it? Everything has to go _perfect_ in your _perfect little world_, doesn't it? _That's why you're always lying. _Asshole."

I look at her and her deep-sea blue eyes. I see the tsunami in there but I look past it. There's a bunch of rocking waves.

I back away from her and take my place in front of the door. I'm now glaring at it, because that's really all I can do now. Sighing, I shut my eyes and tell her, "It's all the truth. But whatever. I wasn't really expecting you to believe me anyway."

And in a second, I'm out of there. No smoke bombs, no flashy exit. Just a turn of the doorknob and a couple paces to take me away from there. Each step I take brings me further away from her. I'm okay with that, I tell myself. It's what I have to do. It's what I agreed to when I became Kaitou Kid. Whether or not I knew it. Each step builds the wall between us higher and higher. It's enough to drive anyone mad. But I'm not just anyone. I'm Kuroba Kaito. And I'm already crazy, so what does it even matter at this point? I hear her padded footsteps, slow to start but increasing in speed as I draw further away. I'm by the front door by the time she catches up to me.

Her hand wavers above my shoulder, and I can't say I blame her for not wanting to touch me. She retracts it as I turn around to face her anyway. She considers me for a moment. "I still don't believe you. And," - _slap_ - "I still hate you."

She's a girl and I really don't understand them all that well. I don't get why she did that. But I resist the urge to cradle my swollen cheek, since I don't want any pity from her. I don't want to force it out of her. And I just plain don't deserve any sympathy, anyway. We stare unblinkingly at each other for awhile. Until she decides that what we're doing is stupid ((you're always the one who realizes these things)) and talks to me again. "What's the real story, Kaito. Tell me. _Now_. Or I swear I'll tell Tou-san."

"Aoko. It's all the truth. I don't know how to get you to believe it, though. You'll just have to take my word for it." I'm skating on thin ice. I suck at ice-skating.

She thinks for a moment. "Okay... if you _really were_ telling the truth, then repeat the story back to me. Exactly. It doesn't have to be word for word but it better damn right be the same exact story."

"What -" She glares at me. Okay. I'm not really in a position to be arguing with her about this. But I'm a real idiot so I guess I kinda do anyway. "Fine. But it'll take a really long time again, you know that, right?" She scowls harshly at me. "And to be honest, how will that make you believe me?"

I've known Aoko my whole life. I dunno. That felt like an important fact to say.

"You're an asshole. Get the hell out of my house."

Memories I've had with her flash before my eyes. It reminds me of how, when people are about to die, they say they see their entire life replay in front of them.

"No. _No_. Aoko. Listen to me. We're going to sort this out now. This," I motion between us, and her glower darkens, "can't continue. We're still friends. In my book, at least. Now. I know you're angry at me for this. _Are we done being friends, yes or no__?_ If you say yes then I'll leave and I won't even look back. If that's what you want. Now - your answer?"

Quite taken aback. Both of us. She stays quiet but her mouth forms a 'yes.'

"I can't hear you. Speak up!" I'm right in her face and I'm shaking her harshly. When did I become like this?

"STOP! Just - just stop, alright, Kaito? I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to think! Stop trying to make me make up my mind! No, I _do_ want to keep being friends, okay? Is that what you want me to say? I can't really decide right now with all this pressure you're putting on me! Give me some space right now. This is hard enough as it is... and I'd have thought that you, of all people, would get that."

I lower my hands. She lowers her eyes. "Can I just have some time to think about this?"

"Fine." And it's really the least that I can do. "I'll head back home -"

"Could you stay here? Please? Until I decide?" I look at her, confused, until she continues. "After all... we're still friends right now..."

((We've been friends all along...?))

I nod.

She practically runs back into her room and shuts the door as tightly and quickly as she can. I walk - glide? - over to the humble couch residing in the living room. It's bent in the middle from too many fat police officers sitting on it during dinner parties hosted by the Inspector. I sit on the far left corner, right where I belong, and run my hand along the fabric. It's coarse and grainy. It's not made of any of that new plush crap that they sell nowadays. It's just your everyday, run-of-the-mill fabric. Nothing fancy or outstanding. I sink back into the lumpy cushions and feel safe and secure in the house that I basically grew up in. I close my eyes and exhale a long breath.

I rest.

* * *

It's 12 am.

I've just been suddenly awakened by the sound of a door opening, and I'm almost positive that it's her. I'm somewhat surprised that she's made up her mind just at this legendarily "fateful" hour. Pure coincidence, I tell myself. Except this midnight certainly is quite fateful for me. Whatever she's decided will determine my future. Somehow I'm rather sure of that. The sincerity and vivacity with which I believe that kind of scares me.

I like to use big words when I'm tired. Oh hey look Aoko just stepped into the room. I clap and the lights turn on. She frowns, and suddenly I regret doing that.

"I've decided -" no shit Sherlock "- that we can still be friends. But you'd better watch yourself from now on. Next time I won't be so forgiving." She crosses her arms. "I'm tired and I'm going to bed. Goodnight." And she stomps away.

I suppose that I can't be too upset about the way things turned out. I got what I wanted, after all. I look down at my hands resting in my lap. It's a strange feeling to realize that I've stolen so many priceless jewels but never ever touched them with my bare hands. Damn gloves. But I'd be leaving fingerprints, wouldn't I, so there was really no choice at all, was there... And then there's Aoko...

It takes me a second, but finally the dots connect and maybe I was just too thick-headed before but I know what I've got to do now. It isn't right to leave things the way they are right now, even if Aoko says that she's okay with it all. I rise with new-found courage ((that's not the word)) and walk slowly to her bedroom door. It feels all wrong, but maybe my definition of wrong has been warped by all the crime shit I've been messing around with. I knock, just for the sake of being a gentleman and not wanting to embarrass her. After all, she could be changing. Or something. I try not to think about that idea too much because there's... other things that have to be taken care of. Yeah. Let's go with that.

She opens the door, and again it feels like she's been waiting for me. Maybe that's just want our life is. Me lagging behind and her waiting for me to catch up. Something like that. I'm close this time, at least. She doesn't look at me or speak to me. She just walks back to her bed and curls up under the covers. She lays on her side in fetal position, facing the wall. She still doesn't look at me. I speak, just to break the stillness and silence. "If you didn't want to forgive me, you shouldn't have. I just want you to know that it's not too late to change your decision."

Mumbles are my answer, but I've lived around her long enough to be able to decipher them without difficulty. "I'd end up regretting it later."

"That's stupid, Aoko. If you hate me, tell it to my face. Come on, you can do it!" I have a playful tone on, but I'm serious. I stand awkwardly by the side of the bed, not sure if I'm allowed to sit down or not. She shoots right up into a sitting position at my words. "BaKaito! You know I don't hate you! Stop trying to make me say things that I don't mean!"

"But if they're true, then why not?" Devil's advocate, much?

"Ugh, Kaito! You don't get it!" She raises her hand, ready to slap me.

I grab her wrist. "Then why not help me understand?"

As she fights for control of her arm, we topple over. Her kicking limbs bring the heavy sheets from her bed over us and all in all it just becomes a big old mess. I'm spitting out pieces of her teddy bear as I scold her, anger completely absent from my tone despite what just happened. "Now look what you did!"

"Look what _I _did?! It's all BaKaito's fault, humph!" She's back to standing in a flash. More than I can say about myself. I spring up a couple seconds late. She's already by the door and holding it open. She gestures in that would-you-please-leave-right-about-now-thank-you-very-much sort of fashion. I take a step backwards, more towards the window than to the door. She takes the hint that I'm not going anywhere, and, with a sigh, trudges back to the middle of the room and scoops up all the blankets. She's cursing my name out to the high heavens as she starts remaking her bed. I feel a little guilty about ruining it, but I just stand back and watch. It's better this way?

...I stand forward and shove my hands in my pocket. ((It's time)) "Aoko?"

"What, baka?" She's still busying herself with the hospital-corners at the foot of the bed - it's the way her mother taught her - but at least I know she's listening. She's a good multitasker. I blink a couple times.

"...Do you really forgive me?"

Silence. None of the sheets rustle.

"Aoko?"

I watch her. I back up a few paces, until the point where I literally cannot retreat any further. I'm pressed up against the window, and I know for sure that I can leave that way but I know for "some reason" that I shouldn't. I watch her some more.

"I guess it really depends, Kaito. Are you sorry?"

Ummm actually Aoko I don't think I should tell you that answer. But I don't think I should lie to you anymore, either. So here goes nothing.

"No."

Her back straightens up, and her fists clench. I'm dead. Then again, I signed my own death warrant.

But one question dares to slip through my lips, diving into the tense atmosphere with suicidal aspirations. "Would you be?"

I shouldn't have asked that. I shouldn't have asked that. I shouldn't have asked that.

I've never been the sharpest knife in the drawer, anyway. I hear the broken grandfather clock that's twenty two minutes slow on the dot ring midnight. Besides that nothing else stirs. Everything's quiet. Too quiet. It's quieter than it's ever been. And that's _most certainly_ not a good thing. A quiet Aoko is never a good Aoko, nor a peaceful one at that. If I've learned only one thing in my life, it's that. I see the back of her head move and I know she's looking up. I don't know why. Maybe she's looking at a spider or something.

"A little. But we're all different, aren't we." It's not a question that she poses, but a way of life. She pauses for a moment before adding, "I don't get it. I don't think I ever will. But sure. Yeah. I forgive you."

She turns around, not too quick but not too slow. She's got this slight smile on her face, like one that's been caused by genuine happiness. I don't know what she's happy about. All the same, her grin - small as it might be - reflects the contrasting stern frown I wear. We stare at each other for a few moments, and I have a feeling that she doesn't know why either. We slowly break into broad grins, cracking up at our shared stupidity.

"Ahoko," I smirk, "why'd you have to be mad at me so long?"

She rushes into me and hugs me. The force of her action tumbles us onto the ground. When she finally lets go of me, we're in a somewhat embarrassing position that both of us are too innocent to really recognize at the moment. Well, she is. I'm not. I casually sit up and just try to pretend it didn't happen. If I show no discomfort, then she won't know anything's up. It's different from lying. And I'm sure, if she knew the truth, that she'd be completely okay with me trying to cover it up.

I scoot over and stand up to open the window. Ahh a nice cool breeze. Hopefully it'll get rid of that red face I have. Dammit Aoko why do you always have to put me in these types of positions? I hear some movements behind me and know automatically that it's her getting up. She pops up, like a phantom, at my side. She stares out the window, past the world and into the sky. Her musings are simple breaths, but I'm well-versed in the language of Aoko so I understand. "The stars are pretty tonight."

I look at them, too. "_Y__eah._"

We stand there, side by side, counting the stars for forever, and unconsciously our hands link together. Our shoulders touch, and we're back to being best friends. Nothing more, and nothing less. It's an accomplishment well deserved, because both parties have worked so hard to rekindle the flame that was once there. I narrow my eyes at the moon and give it a hidden wave. And then I'm back to counting my stars, and I only ever reach one.

((Thank you...))

* * *

It's 1 am.


End file.
